Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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