You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
