She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
