I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
