the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
