Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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