I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
