i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
