i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
