We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
