Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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