he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
FUCK WHALES
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
