They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my liver is dry heaving
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize