You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
