3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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