I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
