3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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