just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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