Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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