im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My life is pants optional.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
