as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
