Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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