Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
