did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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