elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
