i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
