i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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