I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize