she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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