I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
