She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
