she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
