he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
