I wanna bring you to show and tell
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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