Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
