I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
