You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
