ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
