At least make sure they are 18
Why
I could make wine with my vomit
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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