So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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