Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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