i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
