We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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