Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
