Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
