You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
