the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
