Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
