the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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