Sponge bath it is.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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