We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
