he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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