How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
A+ Viking dick
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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