I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
