You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
