Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
