nutella sex= disaster
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
