He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
