Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize