We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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