we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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